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I hate it when my kid calls my bluff.

1. I feel like I’m going to pass out.

2. I hate it when my kid calls my bluff.

Hubby #1 is off to Nascar today. Don’t ask…the only answer I can give involves eye rolling and I don’t even think there is an emoticon for an eye roll. I’m actually okay with it, but I’d be a fool not to use it for some leverage later on.

I planned to treat Baby #1 and Baby #2 to Menchie’s with their Granny. Menchie’s and Granny are basically two of their favorite things on earth. LA locals know that Menchie’s is legal crack for kids. It is a do-it-yourself frozen yogurt place with a self-serve topping bar that could induce a diabetic coma in a non-diabetic. And my mother is the type of grandparent who spoils the grandkids so rotten that it’s almost disgusting to be around.

The plan was set. We loaded into the car. Then, the plan was shot to hell. All buckled in, Baby #1 started to whine that her seatbelt was too tight. It wasn’t. She continued to whine, moving on to crying and then screaming that her seatbelt was too tight. It still wasn’t. I started to drive and was impressed with myself for keeping my cool. About a mile and a half from our house, I couldn’t stand the crying anymore. I calmly pulled over and turned the car off. She took the seatbelt off.

“You can either stop crying and put your seatbelt back on or you and I will walk home while Baby #2 and Granny go Menchie’s without us. I’m giving you one minute to decide.”

The seconds started ticking by. The crying stopped, but the buckling did not begin. With ten seconds to go, I began a countdown that usually kicks kids into gear. My kid didn’t budge. Time was up. She had called my bluff. I got out of the car, took her hand and we walked home. She happily skipped along, balancing on curbs and jumping on and off of big rocks. We live at the top of a fairly steep hill, which she joyfully jogged most of the way up (wearing Crocs I might add). I worried that I might have a heart attack most of the way up the hill. That is why I feel like I am going to pass out and I hate it when my kid calls my bluff. Plus, I’m pissed that I didn’t get Menchie’s!

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